At some point in life, we all have that need, that feeling, to be needed, to be wanted, and to be loved. Someone once told me, that there is not one person in this world that doesn’t have that; nobody can be happy alone, genuinely happy, nobody. And then there comes a time, where you find someone that you need in your life, you need that person you want that person and you love that person, and human nature entails that you want them to feel the same way, to want you back, and then you start expecting, and that, that’s when things get out of control. You’re a better person because of someone, you need someone, you want someone but does that truly mean that they feel the same way too?
The pain gets worse everyday, some days it’s bearable. And then there are those days where it feels as though the world around you is crashing down. I don’t know what the future holds, who does, right? I don’t know how long I can hold on, put on a smile on my face and try to pretend to be okay. Can you appear to be vulnerable? Weak? Needy? No. Can you make them understand the pain? The emotions? The fear? No. So you say it, every time they ask you, every chance you get, you say those two words that make everything appear to be perfect. “I’m Okay”. And then when you’re all alone, you break down you fall to the ground and beg god to make it all go away, to make the pain go away, to make the fear go away to make everything go away. Its a viscous cycle and it seems like you will never be able to escape, and then there comes that moment of realisation where you know that only time will tell where things will go. For better, or for worse.
How many times a day do you feel like you’re never going to be good enough that you could be so much better than you already are? Is that necessarily a bad Thing? I don’t think so, if anything it pushes you to become greater. To do bigger things to change yourself and if you succeed you always has the potential right? And if not, at least you can say your tried and at least you know that you’re right where you belong. Never leT anyone know what lies behind that face, never let anyone feel sorry for you, you don’t need sympathy, you need strength,Netherlands strength to carry through everyday and say that this could have been a lot worse. You need the strength to know that every day is going to be painful but along with the pain comes the happiness, the memories, the love, the care, and above all, every day is a brand new day, and just as time changes everything, it can heal and change circumstances. Even an ounce of hope can keep you going, can make you stronger everyday. Just go by life and expect the unexpected. You never know what tomorrow holds. xxxx Noor