This is the life you want
Love blinded me; it made me vulnerable. I never believed in love till it tore me apart; it took from me the one thing I needed the most: courage. I made mistakes, I made him my everything, I would never let anything harm him or bring him down, I couldn’t see him upset, his feelings and his problems became mine. When he was happy I was happy when he was upset I was upset. I told myself everyday that he was my destiny and he was the only thing that could possibly make me happy. I was wrong, I didn’t have the courage to face reality, to see beyond this bubble that I made my life; where only he and I existed. The pain I feel today, exists deep within me, in a place where nobody will find it, some place it will always remain. The pain of heartbreak is one that is never truly forgotten. The pain of seeing someone in a completely different light, the pain of living a lie, the pain of not being the only one for someone, the pain of promises made and broken, the pain of being so in love and suddenly so alone. I promised to never let go, and I never did, he let me go in his heart, he didn’t need to say it, he had already done it. And no matter how much I tried to salvage what was left of my broken heart the truth remains: in a toxic relationship only one can survive; me or him.
At some point in life, we all have that need, that feeling, to be needed, to be wanted, and to be loved. Someone once told me, that there is not one person in this world that doesn’t have that; nobody can be happy alone, genuinely happy, nobody. And then there comes a time, where you find someone that you need in your life, you need that person you want that person and you love that person, and human nature entails that you want them to feel the same way, to want you back, and then you start expecting, and that, that’s when things get out of control. You’re a better person because of someone, you need someone, you want someone but does that truly mean that they feel the same way too?